Infidelity Recovery

Who This Is For

You discovered an affair, or you are the one who had one, and either way the ground moved. The questions do not stop. Can we survive this? Should we even try? Will I ever trust them again? Will they ever forgive me?

See also: marriage counseling after infidelity.

This work is hard, and I will not soften that. Couples who stay with the process often build something stronger than they had before the betrayal, and some do not stay together. Both of those can be honest outcomes. I do not guarantee that the marriage continues.

I am Kendra Capalbo, licensed in Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Hampshire and Rhode Island. I am Gottman Method Level 3 trained, and I practice Emotionally Focused Therapy. I also have training in Relational Life Therapy and sex therapy. I see couples only. Regular sessions are virtual. You need to be physically in one of those states during the session.

How Infidelity Recovery Works

Phase 1 - Stabilization: The immediate aftermath of discovery is chaos. Sleep goes, the phone becomes a crime scene, and we start with safety, room for the shock, and ground rules you can both actually keep.

Phase 2 - Understanding: We ask why this happened so the relationship can be seen clearly. The affair was still a choice, and understanding the conditions does not move the responsibility off the person who made it. Both of you will be asked to look at your part, so a rebuild has somewhere solid to stand.

Phase 3 - Rebuilding: Trust comes back through consistent action over time, and words will not carry this. We build a practical way for the person who had the affair to demonstrate trustworthiness, and for the two of you to find your way back toward each other if that is what you decide.

Phase 4 - Moving Forward: You will not be asked to pretend it did not happen. Some couples become closer than they were, and some discover the relationship has run its course. Either outcome can be a real decision, and then the work ends.

What the work involves

The four phases above are how I sequence the hours. Under them, the clinical frame is Emotionally Focused Therapy and a three-phase affair approach based on Dr. John Gottman's research. EFT treats the betrayal as an attachment injury: a rupture in the trust the relationship depended on. The Gottman phases are atonement, attunement, and attachment.

Atonement: The unfaithful partner takes full responsibility, without minimizing and without shifting the blame, and the hurt partner needs answers and real remorse. This sits with stabilization: safety, room for the shock, and ground rules you can both keep.

Attunement: Once the crisis settles, we look at what was missing for both of you before the affair, and if a conversation goes in circles I name it and redirect it. You can be furious and still be asked to see your part in the pattern that was already there. The choice to have the affair stays with the person who made it.

Attachment: The rebuild is transparency, emotional safety, and action you can count on, and phase 4 is the decision that follows: stay and live with what happened, or separate with clarity.

How a session is built: A 90-minute session has room to check in, get into the interaction itself, and decide what you will practice at home. Ending an affair conversation at 50 minutes leaves both of you raw, and the next session starts further back.

The first sessions: We begin with a 30-minute consultation that costs $100. You tell me what happened, I tell you what I see, and we both decide if this is the right fit. The fee applies toward the first session if you continue, and if I am not the right fit, I refund it. Booking the consultation does not obligate you to a first session.

If we go ahead, the first session opens the assessment: what brought you now, the history, the patterns, what you have tried, and what you hope will change. The assessment is one session together, then an individual session with each partner, then a plan for where the work needs to focus. The individual hours are for understanding the relationship, and I am not there to take a side.

Between sessions: I give you specific practices, and I expect you to use them, because after a betrayal that follow-through is the trust work and it happens at home. If something urgent comes up between sessions, a smaller caseload means I can usually offer priority scheduling. If you or your partner are in crisis or unsafe, call or text 988, or call 911.

How long: We generally start weekly so the work does not reset every time we meet, and as you show real change at home we space the sessions out. Longer sessions mean more gets done each time, and how long therapy takes depends on the work you do between sessions. Some couples come back later for maintenance.

What We Address

• Emotional affairs and physical affairs
• Disclosure and transparency
• The betrayed partner's trauma response
• The unfaithful partner's accountability
• Rebuilding intimacy after betrayal
• Deciding whether to stay or leave

Why 90-Minute Sessions Matter Here

Infidelity recovery is intense. In a 50-minute session you often reach the hard part as the clock runs out. Ninety minutes gives us room to work with it and to land before we stop. You should not have to carry an unfinished conversation into the parking lot, or into the rest of the night at home.

Read more

• Marriage Counseling After Infidelity
• Infidelity Therapy for Fairfield County Couples
• Weekend intensives

What it costs

Sessions are $750 for 90 minutes in a private-pay practice, and because I do not accept insurance I can give you a superbill for out-of-network reimbursement.

Couples begin with a 30-minute consultation that costs $100. The time is reserved, the fee applies toward your first session if you continue, and if I am not the right fit, I refund it. You describe what is happening, I tell you what I see, and there is no obligation to book the first session.

A weekend intensive, if you are weighing that alongside weekly work, does not have a fixed price. After the consultation you receive a written proposal, and you decide. The $750 fee on this page is the regular 90-minute session. The intensive happens in your home, or another place you choose, in a state where I am licensed. Regular sessions stay on Zoom.